One-liners

Here are a few of the more amusing of the thousands of one-liners on the web.
Some old; none new, but good for a wry grin!

Aibohphobia (def'n): An irrational fear of palindromes.

What do you call an unemployed jester? ... Nobody's fool.

Feminist's lament: "I think, therefore I am single."

Dog for sale: eats anything, and is especially fond of children.

Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further."

Never face facts; if you do, you'll never get up in the morning.

Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it.

What do you say to a Buddhist hot dog vendor? ... Make me one with everything.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant a little like making a peeing section in the swimming pool?

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

There are two rules for success in life:
Rule 1: Don't tell people everything you know.

Wherever you go, there you are.

A paranoid has been defined as someone who is in possession of all the facts.

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